Wednesday, January 28, 2009


*say it with the Chinese slang*

How do you like my new template? The original template can be found here and it looks like below:

Yeahh, it WAS a clean template. I thought of using the white one, but when I tried inserting my articles into the template, it looked SUPER-awkward. Too many emo posts aren't suitable for such clean look. So, I figured I should just stick to the same old EMO me. Alas, this edited template you're looking at!

Yet, I am NOT done. The header above is just temporary. And my sidebars are in a slight mess. Will get back to it tonight.

* Dem. I didn't do a screenshot of my previous template! All is lost. Uhh~
* Fortunately, I didn't have to re-do my widgets installation. Thanks to this article.
* Sepeket, time to change your templates!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Chinese New Year

I'd like to take this opportunity to wish HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR to all my Chinese friends, my aunt's family in Kuantan and my uncle's family in Kuching. I definitely miss the CNY celebration in Kuching because that's the BEST place to watch firework displays when the clock strikes midnight. Nowhere else in Malaysia can be compared to the night scene in Kuching on CNY's eve. I hope Bongkersz would agree with me. The streets get sooo smoky that you have to pull over to the side and wait for about 10-15mins to be able to drive again. Gosh, it sure was lively!

This time around, I'm celebrating my CNY holiday at a dreadful place, repeat, DREADFUL place. Where? Let's just say, if I don't visit my relative here, they'd be saying awful things about me. Yeahh, that's the attitude of typical Indian aunties for you. The sin of NOT visiting your relatives is equivalent to murdering your neighbour's cat (so I've concluded from observing my Indian relatives gossiping).

Anyway, to kill time, I'd probably work on getting materials for this site. It's been two months since I bought the domain and NOTHING is being done to it. I can't even get thru the Cpanel since I've forgotten the password! Huhu. Aaaa, no worries, I've jot it down somewhere... at home... Oit Sepeket, bila mau diskusi??

* Gotta ring my uncle in Kuching. I miss the ronda2 we do at night. Haihh~
* Sorry Chee Eng, I can't make it - again. When will we meet again? Hopefully not as a doctor and your patient! Ahax.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Job Change

A couple of days ago, MEF announced that it estimates about 200,000 workers maybe losing their jobs in the coming months due to economy crisis which forces many to downsize the workforce. While this is happening and we begin to take note of it, I am here, still hunting for a job change! I know many would advise me otherwise. But I think I had enough of mental torture with my current employer. And as the global crisis still in discussion, my employer keeps pushing us to our limits while harassing us DAILY with her indisputable quotes such as,

"Please note under the current economic situation, I have no patience with staff that stalls and delay work, do not move quickly on tasks, do not deliver efficient work"

"All pay and job hire will be frozen. Current positions will also be reviewed. It depends on your ability to contribute effectively and efficiently to the company. No one can be in the comfort zone."

"During this global crisis, people are losing job. You should be grateful you still have yours. Nobody in this situation would even want to lose their job."

I'm tired of it. I know everyone else around me would turn and say, "Didn't we say so, like, MONTHS AGO??" But I'm nervous. Nervous to try something new. Maybe because I've been in my comfort zone for too long. But this comfort zone ain't so comfort anymore. And I'm willing to let it go now.

I will continue trying, and prove that my capabilities can be used elsewhere. Even when time is not on our side. Wish me luck.

*I hate to say this but, please find me a job?? Hehe.
*Dem. My company applies the two-months-notice policy. It's NOT gonna be easy switching job!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


When I was 8 years old, a teacher told me that I have pretty eyes. I looked at her and starred at her. She returned me a smile. I caught that smile, bowed down, and looked away smiling. I wondered, why?

When I was in secondary school, I walk pass everyone without looking at them. And I put on a straight face everywhere I go, unless I stumble upon a good friend. Ahh, wait, that's probably because I was a prefect! Huhu.

I remember a group of girls who confessed that they didn't think they would ever make friends with me. They said that I don't look friendly, and I am cold towards my surroundings. But they eventually realize, that I am a good sport, once we got to know each other better.

Came university, I lost my grandma. That's when it hit me hard most. I have pictured my future with my grandma in the frame. When she was gone, I had to pick up the pieces of whatever is left from the shattered frame and put it together into a new frame.

Flying back to university, I did a lot of thinking. One of the thoughts, how am I going to face my friends when I touch down? Will I start crying and ask for sympathy from around me?

Then, it struck me. Emotions are contagious, so if I look happy, I can project that mood to others too. I went back to college, kept my cool and enjoyed every moment. Friends who knew of the funeral empathized, but they also gave me the support to keep me going. Friends and lecturers who eventually got to know about the funeral, were surprised because I was back on my feet by day 5. Even when they delivered their condolence, I accepted it with a smile.

That's when I begin to realize that I am capable to keep myself together when everything else around me fail. I begin to use it to my advantage. I begin to smile and laugh for the world to see while hiding my true emotions. I keep my emotions well, hid all the pain, and only show what's best for everyone. And when I am happy, everyone seem happy for me. And when everyone else seem happy, they ARE happy.

"Smile, it costs absolutely nothing!", so I've heard. I shall continue trying to carry my smile everywhere I go. Even at the worst time, I'll try to smile. Hypocrite? I beg to differ. A smile is a good enough stress buster. A laughter would be perfect. And yes, I laugh AT MYSLEF once in a while.

But, I may not be smiling for myself all the time. I may be smiling on behalf of you. You who needs a smile, when the world crumbles around you.

Coming back to the memory when I was 8, I realize that the teacher smiled at me because she knew I would return a smile, eventhough it was only in my heart. Now I understood that smile, Mrs Chiew.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Jangan Tamak

Bakal budak MIROS, jangan tamak. Nanti kehilangan. Tengok saja nasib budak2 yang kite slalu perkotak-katikkan mase konferenz tetingkap YM. Tak tau menghargai apa yang ada. Bila dah tiada, baru tercari-cari kembali.

Dah tau yang satu itu pernah dibuang dan kini kembali namun masih tak hargai kau secukupnya, kau simpan lagi buat apa?

Sudahlah, kalau aku tau kau tamak pasni, aku carik kau kat Kajang! Aku lempang kau laju2! Aku seyes kali nih. Tadi kat YM, aku memain je. Ngeee~

Ok lah, dah abis bebel (yer, kejap jek aku cool balik). Aku sebenarnyer nak ucapkan "Selamat Menjalankan Tugas Baru" di MIROS pada kau. *Kau selidik sumer cacat cela research lepas diorang dan buktikan, org belakang xyah gune tali pinggang keledar!* Hahaha~

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Morning After

No, not the pill.

It's overwhelming to see so much traffics coming in to read my previous post so they can have a topic to talk over a teh-tarik session or during a pillow talk.

I am laughing hysterically. Ouhh, people are soOooOO gonna trash-talk me! Funny, when they keep claiming not to hear the story from one person and make judgement. Well, those of you who plans to trash talk me, think about it ehh? I didn't start the statement, they did.

Gosh, someone should seriously start a fan club for me! I'm far more famous than Sarah Palin!

I'm sick of two IMMATURE girls

Before continue reading, please be reminded that the blog owner has decided to write an immature post because the owner has to EVEN UP to the standards of the immature girls. They don't understand grown-up talk.

I have a lot to say to these two PATHETIC girls but most of all, BLOODY MOVE ON, WOULD YOU??

Whatever your ex does beyond the moment you broke up has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Why the FUCK you think it has EVERYTHING to do with you? Revenge? Gosh, you're more pathetic than I've ever imagined.

You've done enough damage to HIM. Have you not realize? SELFISH IDIOTS. You're not the only one hurt. I've been down there and I know how it feels, but I picked myself up eventhough the weight of burden was painfully heavy! And ohh, I also thought, SERVES ME RIGHT, I WAS THE ONE WHO CHOSE TO LEAVE, FUCK. Have you not thought that over and over again??? *think about it without the word FUCK if you have to*

I hope you enjoy your moments while you still can because thanks to both of you MORONS, his self-esteem is down to ZERO now. It's fun to see your ex suffer as much as you eh? Wow. I wonder who's the one with REVENGE in mind now..

I'm tired of all these childish attitude. Doctors-to-be?? You have to be kidding me!

ST, STOP benchmarking 'em.

HATE ME if you have to. I've been an observant for FAR TOO LONG.

And at the end of it all, I sympathize... Walk out gracefully will you? Don't stumble and make a fool of yourselves...

*I've never been SO RUDE in a single post like this before. I must be DAMN pissed right now.
*I wish I wrote with less rage. I CAN'T. Anger has overpowered me tonight.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Gempak Sana Sini

Gempak satu Mesia, satu Asia, satu DONIA (kecuali US dan sekutu nyer) suoh boikot Israel. Dari tuala wanita ke saluran katun feberet aku, sume pun kene boikot! Adehh. Ini satu CABARAN utk aku! Mari kite tgk samada aku akan berjayer tak. Ngeh3~

Antara brand name yang perlu kite boikot (bukan aku cakap, diorang...sape diorang? ni haaa...):

Tak susah sgt kot. Aku layan banana pie ngan twister fries jek. Lain2 mmg x berkenan pun. Go Go KayEpSi!

Ralph Lauren
I've just ditched my Ralph perfume utk DKNY! Yeayy!!

Dah lama tak makan BisKUAT Tiger, so aku boleh nih!

Giler ke aper?? Aku perlu kan Nescafe supaya tak tertidor di dpn PC buat keje BOSAN tiap hari nih!

UNLESS Giant ader di sebelah Carrefour dan Jusco tak jual barang mahal sangat, I'll ditch Carrefour. Nak harapkan kedai runcit?? Drg reti cekik leher aku jek! C'mon la wei, sape nak gi cari kedai jauh2 kalu paling dekat dah Carrefour?? Rasional beb.

Adehh. Aku paling selesa gune Kotex ahh. Dan ia affordable jika dibandingkan dengan Whisper... lalala~

Dari dulu aku setia ngan Nokia. Baru-baru ni ader la henpon baru. Tapi aper ntah henpon nih, nak NOkia aku balik! Erk~ Dan korang, nak baling ke henpon Nokia korg tu? C'mon la wei... Giler babi kaye korg ek!

Starbucks Coffee
Yeahh! Boikot Starbucks! Kopi mahal giler! BOIKOT WEI BOIKOT!! *cover line tak mampu layan Starbucks tiap mggu*

Intel, IBM
Korang giler ke nak boikot dua nih??

Donna Karan New York
Haha! So much for ditching Ralph Lauren for DKNY! *smirk*

Antara Pepsi dan Coke, mmg aku prefer Pepsi. Lagi2 Pepsi TWIST. Pergh~ Layaaannnn...

Walt Disney
Giler ke ape??!!!!! NI TAK BOLEH NI!!! Aku MESTI, PERLU, WAJIB layan Totally Spies, Kim Possible, Suite Life on Deck, Hannah Montana aku! @#$%&^*!!!! *emo jap*

Fox TV Network
Takyah tengok pape muvi la pasni... Lingkup lah GSC, Cathay dan TGV. Wawawa~

Kesimpulannyer, korg takyah la nak boikot2 nih. Boikot satu, tergadah satu. C'mon la wei. Aku bukan sokong Israel. I condemn everything they're doing to another human race. Tapi, pikir rasional lah bile korg war2kan boikot nih. Yerr, aku boleh dgr org mengumpat aku dah. Kunun nyer kite ader option lain...

Beli yang alternative? Boleh je. Tapi ader pikir tak nape tiap bulan korg beli gak dari Carrefour? Nape beli gak Kotex? Nape setia gak ngan Nokia? Nape Nescafe lagi best dr Boss? Coz they offer the best THAN THE REST. Takpun sbb McD paling dekat ngan korg kan..

Ader orang suggest "Beli barang buatan Mesia"! Haha. Mau gelak boleh? Lu pikir la sendiri nape aku nak gelak! Ouhh, satu lagi, beli dari pengusaha tempatan?? The day when they STOP using PETROL to hike up their price (and NEVER decreases), I'd be glad to buy from 'em...

Aku nak bantu. Tapi aku tau ini bukan jalan terbaik. Bkn korg tak sedar, ekonomi tgh meleset. Korg bantu yang di sana, tp yang pegi keje kat Carrefour tiap ari, ilang keje drg. Mau sampai mcm ni ke? Kite bantu cara lain la k. Like including world peace in your prayers every nite before you go to bed.

* Takde tapis2 time aku tulis artikel nih. So, aku taktau la kalu aku ni ader terlepas ckp ke x.. huhu~
* Ader org kate sumber di atas paling tepat. Kalu aku salah, bgtau k. Aku tak mau mengaibkan mereka2 yang tak bersalah.
* My prayers are with 'em, the victims of time, politics and brutality.

Friday, January 09, 2009


I imagine a 12-storey building in the middle of a busy metropolitan city. There I stand at the edge of the rooftop, facing the city below me. Hundreds and thousands of cars from miles away hurdles into the city street with junctions after junctions branching at every intersection.

And then I heard footsteps walking towards me. She called out my name and started shouting and screaming. Hurtful words were thrown. I stood there numbed. My feet felt cold, so cold I could not feel it anymore. I dropped to my knees, face still facing the city below me.

Suddenly, she stopped yelling. She begin to plead. And she sobbed. So hard it weakened my soul. So sad it shattered my fragile heart.

I turn to look at her, tears streaming down her rosy cheeks, and I wondered if this is the end of me. There is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide now. She's close...So close, she cornered me well. Guarding me from running free.

I looked down again. Perhaps... Perhaps, this is it. I shall walk out of this life. I shall surrender myself to the earth. I shall fall. And I shall disappear when I touch the ground below.

But in the moment tears gathered at the corner of my eyes before my decision, I heard a soft, gentle whisper, "Fall, and I will wait to catch you when you fall..."

It was you. My sweetest conversation.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Cute ke? Adehh..

***Copy badge "2008 Cute's Blogger Award" di atas untuk diletakkan di blog anda***
We're in 2009 dy la wei! Aku nak badge 2009 gak! Huh, takmo stick~ *demand*

***Link/ceritakan kembali siapa yang memberikan award ini kepada anda***
Najwa. Sampai hati kau. Ini belog EMO lah wei! Haha.

***Setiap blogger mesti menyatakan 10 fakta/hobi diri sendiri sebelum memilih penerima award seterusnya (anda di-tag)***

  • Mase kecik2, suka main jadi watak renjer merah dari Power Rangers, Flashman dan Maskman. Yeahh!! Aku lah HERO!!!!!
  • Sukakan tomyam, nasi lemak, dan baru pasan aku suka apa saja yang dibuat dari kentang.
  • Kalu orang kata aku baik, aku jadi MAKIN baik dengan orang tu. Kalu orang kata aku jahat, hah, biar aku tunjuk kau betapa JAHAT aku bley jadi! Malas aku nak defend diri. Baik ikut cara kau.
  • Mahu tukar kerja, tapi selalu melengah2kan masa untuk submit resume sampai submission date expire! Huuuu~
  • Pernah jadi kurus yang best beberapa bulan lalu. Skang dah kembali normal (48 itu normal kan?). Ouhh, mau jadi kurus yang best boleh? Dah, DAH. Jangan ajak aku makan lagi!
  • Suka channel 612 dan 615. Tengok kartun sampai tak pedulikan orang sekeliling. Wei, aku tgh kusyok nih, jangan kaco aku! Lalala~
  • Suka ambil peduli perasaan orang lain bila mau buat keputusan. Perasaan sendiri sering diketepikan. Ahh, aku mau berubah! Nabil, aku TAKNAK donlod lagu utk kau lg! Haha. Takde kene-mengena!
  • Suka layan kebanyakan lagu dari kategori Rock KECUALI Rock Kapak, Metal, dan yang sewaktu dengannya.
  • Suka gelak2 bersama rakan2 sepeket. Memang sangat berkesan bila stress. Terima kasih semua.
  • Suka mencuri terutamanya memori kad orang lain. Ouhh, aku sungguh sial, tapi peduli apa, dia tu bodoh. Sapa suh lepaskan? Dah lah, pegi terjun dari KLCC. Ouhh, gune payung terjun yer! Aku tak suh kau mati. Aku tak minat tengok citer Tamil depan mata aku. Aku suh kau cuba hobi baru. *geleng kepala*

***Anda perlu memilih 10 penerima award seterusnya dan menyatakan nama mereka di blog anda***
Biarlah aku tamatkat riwayat tag ini di sini. Memalukan rakan2 bloggers yang sumernyer TAK kiut tu! WAHAHAHA!!! *gelak kejam yer rakan2*

***Jangan lupa untuk melawat blog mereka dan meninggalkan komen yang menyatakan "anda telah di tag"***
Tak perlu kot. Yeahh!

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Pencuri Kad Memori

Dia buang kad memori itu.
Sayang. Kenapa buang?
Aku tegur dia.
Tapi dia sindir.
"Kau tak tau apa yang ada dalam kad itu".

Aku kutip kad memori itu.
Aku tak peduli. Aku mahu simpan.
Aku menatap kad memori itu setiap hari.
Biar saja kad memori itu ambil cebisan memoriku juga.
Aku selesa.

Tiba-tiba dia muncul lagi.
Dia mahu kad memori itu dipulangkan.
Aku kaget. Kelu. Tak terkata.
Bukankah kau yang buang kad memori itu?
Kenapa tiba-tiba ia jadi penting?

Aku tak dapat baca kad memori itu selama ini.
Memori kau, aku tak pernah sentuh. Pasti ada.
Aku hanya berharap kad itu ada simpan memori aku.

Tapi aku tak mahu pulangkan kad itu.
Aku mahu selongkar memori kad itu.
Aku mahu baca memori kad itu.
Kalau kau nak jugak, aku akan sorok kan ia.

Aku mencuri dari kau kah?
Kawan ku kata jangan peduli.
Terima kasih semua. TRUST.

*lap air mata kat keyboard. ouhh, kantoi. terharu dgn rakan2.
*terus melayan taylor swift - love story.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Monday Blues

Ouhh, it's been more than a week since I left my workstation to enjoy whatever left of my annual leave - and heck, I still have some to carry forward to this year.

This morning, I woke up as early as 6AM to do what I call, MENTAL PREPARATION by turning and tossing on my bed for the next ONE hour! Haha.

And the moment I step foot into the office, I tried with all my strength to give heads-up to my colleagues while peeping through the glass door across the room to check if the dark cloud has arrived. Aaaa, I meant, my boss. Heh. To my delight, she had decided to work AWAY from the office, from her office space in her own shuwit condo! Yeahh!! 5% Monday Blues DOWN, 95% to go! Wahaha~ *kill kill, die die*

BUT nothing is WORST than to find that my freelance programmer is STILL MISSING IN ACTION!! Dem you IMRAN! You're jeopardizing not only your OWN reputation, MINE TOO! You're sooOooOOo RIGHT when you said before that, "ALL MEN ARE BASTARD". Ohh wait, not applicable to my brothers, my favourite cousin, and my boyfriend. Hehe. Boyfriend?? WHAT boyfriend?? Lalala~ (ouhh, another 5% DOWN! Yeahh!!)

Speaking of my favourite cousin, he'll be staying over tonight! Yeayy! Can't wait to apologize for some stupid things that happened last week, and FINALLY getting the special item delivered from his mum/dad to me from Indonesia! DOUBLE YIPPIE!!

OK - I'm STILL feeling lazy! Focus Jen, FOCUS!! We need to deliver some work by 5pm! DAMMIT MONDAY BLUES.

Thursday, January 01, 2009


If you're into celebrating new year, I hope you had a good one. I sure know Pejah and CikPin were disappointed that there were NO firework displays NOR ANY celebration in Putrajaya. In fact, they were asked to disperse by the patrolling police. Huhu.

At 12midnight, I was home, glued to my laptop, with chat messenger on. Yeahh, NO FUN AT ALL. In fact, I had quite a conversation with someone on my messenger list that left me confused and distressed. Ouhh, what a way to celebrate the coming of a new year. Heh.

Yet, my day was every bit of FUN, LAUGHTER and LOVE. Thanks to you, every moment was worthwhile.

A good kickstart into 2009. I wish for this to last.

* Thank you for unlocking the pads. I sure feel free now~

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