Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Sexual Identity

I have a Facebook account. Ok, wait - who doesn't???

Ouhh, hold on, I know someone who doesn't! You! Yes, you! *paham2 sendiri suda*

You know how they say Facebook is awesome for social networking? Yeahh, they sure IS awesome. Friends find friends. Long lost buddy finds long lost buddy. Gaymen finds gaymen. Metrosexuals finds metrosexuals. Jambu finds jambu. Strawberry finds strawberry. Haha. Yeahh, it is THAT awesome!

What bothers me even more is the fact that I can't even begin to differentiate the gays from the metrosexuals, or the metrosexuals from the jambus! But somehow, they find comfort in each other. Haha!

I know they are all in totally different categories, but how can I separate them? I've gone through definitions after definitions, yet I can't get the explanation I sought for. One thing is for sure though, gaymen can be a metrosexual or a jambu. So, that leaves me with two more confusion. Define metrosexual and jambu!


Jambu... hmm, a general rojak definition would be a male who's got soft features, and generally by genes, by birth. Say for example, he's got the eyes of a female Anime character (yeahh, those big spooky eyes). Or he's got the sexiest lips even a guy would wanna kiss! Eeeeuuuwww!!!!!!

What about metrosexual? I've found some really interesting definitions in the internet. Let's make them anonymous ok?
  • A man who spends more time in the bathroom, more money on hair & skin products, goes to the salon more, and has more culinary & interior decorating knowledge than most women.
  • A guy who is gay in every sense except in sexual orientation.
  • Pussified or feminized male that is now brainwashed. He has the fashion sense and vanity of a gay man or a woman. Women have created this type of male after years of whining that "men aren't sensitive enough and can relate to us". Good one!
  • Metrosexuals, likely to be gay, are seen crying with women at chick flicks, shopping at all high end fashion shops and are extremely vain. Contrary to liberal folklore, they are not open minded and sensitive, but shallow towards other men or women who are not trendy or fashionable like them.

Haha. I have a personal definition too. Metrosexual is a male person who;
  • Spends more time in the bathroom shaving off their armpit instead of their, err, ...nvm.
  • Uses skincare products way more expensive than my Nivea products. And when I say WAY MORE EXPENSIVE, it means SKII, Artistry, Elizabeth Arden. Lalala~
  • Knows the difference between waxing, tweezing, laser, electrolysis hair removal methods. Wtf??
  • Stays slim and sometimes develops masculine muscles to attract other male girls.
  • A way better camwhore than I am. Dem.
  • Has good fashion sense, normally following the fashionsteps of David Beckham, Zac Efron, or for an edgy-er look, the indie gaymen. Haha.
  • Only strut around in designer clothes, bags and purse (yeahh, NOT wallet). Ultimate choice would be Louis Vuitton.
  • Smells either like Hugo Boss, Giorgio Armani, Polo or Swiss Army. Lalala~

Gosh, the list could go on! Care to add? Ahaa.

* No offence to all the gaymen, metrosexuals and jambus out there. I'm a slow learner when it comes to sexuality... What's ubersexual, again?? See what I mean? Sigh~
* Thank you Murni for providing the three-layered tea that I've been craving for A YEAR now!!

7 other story teller(s):

Vestige said...

Metrosexual is taking over the world.

Aimar said...

* Spends more time in the bathroom shaving off their armpit instead of their, err, ...nvm.

I Spend more time to shave all.. not just my armpit..

* Uses skincare products way more expensive than my Nivea products. And when I say WAY MORE EXPENSIVE, it means SKII, Artistry, Elizabeth Arden. Lalala~

Prefer fresh water instead of those chemical product

* Knows the difference between waxing, tweezing, laser, electrolysis hair removal methods. Wtf??

What is waxing? Is that same like waxing a car? Tweezing? I have no idea what is it.. Laser? I use laser to 'ngorat' girl when i was at primary school.. Electrolysis hair removal? I only know what is electrolysis.. When it combine with 'hair removal methods', i become blur..

* Stays slim and sometimes develops masculine muscles to attract other male girls.

I was born slim..

* A way better camwhore than I am. Dem.

I hate taking pictures of myself..

* Has good fashion sense, normally following the fashionsteps of David Beckham, Zac Efron, or for an edgy-er look, the indie gaymen. Haha.

I am what i am..

* Only strut around in designer clothes, bags and purse (yeahh, NOT wallet). Ultimate choice would be Louis Vuitton.

I even can't remember when the last time i bought all those thing.. Last year i think..

* Smells either like Hugo Boss, Giorgio Armani, Polo or Swiss Army. Lalala~

I smell like a heaven when i sweating.. Who need those perfume when it can't beat a heaven smell?

The conclusion is, i am a normal guy..

atreyu strange said...

Vestige, who shall we blame? Ahaa~

Aimar, stay that way, PLEASE.
*btw, you don't smell like heaven. that's a lie! have you been to heaven?? ahaa~

Aimar said...

How do u know i'm not smell like a heaven? Did u know heaven's smell?

callister said...

to b honest, not all gay men are like what u have described..
ada je yang busuk and xencem pun..
i can get along with them, as long as they're good friend..
kalo turn out otherwise, bye2..

atreyu strange said...

errr...i think i've described the metrosexuals, not gays. huhu.

i have gay friends, metrosexual friends and jambu friends. as long as they don't get on my nerves, i'm fine. ehee~

callister said...

oh hehe..ops..
sorry...

ye..i mcm u gak..
ada sume jenis2 kwn mcm 2..
can get along well..
as long as..
xmenyakitkan hati....

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